The Bible tells us that everyone KNOWS that God exists, and that they also KNOW that they have violated His purpose. (Romans 1:18-22)
The Bible also tells us that God the Father sent Jesus Christ, who is the Son of God and who is God, to die on the cross 2,000 years ago in Palestine, and then raise from the dead EXCLUSIVELY for those who mournfully recognize that they have violated His purpose, and who also trust in Him, Jesus Christ, as their propitiation (the appeasement of God’s wrath which they deserve BECAUSE of their sin). (John 3:16-18)
To those who change their mind regarding their sins and stop pretending that they are not a sinner (repent), and who also trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit (who is God) dwells within them and brings comfort and confidence to them regarding their standing and relationship with God; regardless of what God might allow in their life. (Acts 3:19)
Such an amazingly gracious God He is. (Joel 2:13)
Only God can satisfy His standard of perfection. Nothing impresses Him, except the life lived, the death suffered on the cross, and the resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ, which occurred three days after His crucifixion. For anyone to think that they could satisfy God’s holiness other than God Himself, to any degree, is the height of arrogance. (Romans 3:23-26)
Recognize your inability to appease God for your sins against Him, repent and also trust in Him, Jesus Christ. To those who do, God becomes their Father, and they become a child of God. (Romans 8:14)
I pray that you change your mind about Him.
Blessings to you and your family!